Today was emotional and I spent a good deal of my evening entrenched in thought. Reflective thought often stirs emotions as it touches upon individual memories. Sights, sometimes sounds, and even fragrance awaken in our senses as the synapses fire.
I remembered the earliest days at home with K., our firstborn. Her dad was a milkman then and had to leave the house at 3:30 a.m. to pick up his delivery truck, get his load at the plant, and make his appointed rounds. When our little “lilac girl” wanted to fuss in the night I often took her downstairs where we would snuggle and she would eventually fall asleep laying next to me on the couch while I cooed and imagined what her life would bring.
When C., our middle child, would leave for the bus stop each morning he had to walk past the front window where I waited and watched until the bus pulled away. We had a communicative dance of hand signals that we repeated until he was out of sight, behind the neighboring trees. Wave, peace sign, thumbs up, blow kiss….wave, thumbs up, wave, peace sign, thumbs up, blow kiss… I wonder what he thought when I was leaving from our last visit and that old routine suddenly came back to me?! TeeHee, well, I only needed to act out two of our moves and he smiled with remembrance.
My little K., TaTa, went everywhere with me. I knew she was likely my last baby and I tried to relish every moment. I suppose one of the first evident commonalities between us revealed itself at age three or four. She loved to ride in the grocery shopping cart and insisted on carrying the dangerously OPEN bag of fresh coffee beans because she LOVED the way they smelled. That’s my girl!
Little things that I know I will remember as long as God wills my mind remain intact.
Further back, WAYYYYYYYYYYYY back, I remember as a girl laying in the darkness and pondering nothingness. I believed in God and that He is the Creator of all. I believed that from the beginning He is. I believed that apart from Him no thing came into existence. So I would contemplate before the beginning….Nothing. But, there is no such thing as nothing and God would have created it if there is and He is from the beginning. Round I would go until I reckoned that my little mind just couldn’t comprehend God.
You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”