One day he was ripped from your side and the gasps of breath that you thought were his were now yours. Raspy eager undulations from your belly through your lungs, or was it through your lungs to your belly? It doesn’t matter. All that matters is knowing how to breath alone, but how, why, how, why, why, why, oh God help?! Then the nights that followed were especially dark and then darker, quieter, longer, and colder, and the days were a haze of affliction in a world determined to keep moving despite this wrenching loss.
Where is the one who warmed you from the inside out, whose kind and gentle heart caressed your soul and brought you smiles with his acceptance and desire; who nurtured you with intimate conversation and let you spill your most personal thoughts without reprisal; the dear that deemed it his joy to shield you from the harshness when he could, and comfort you when the shrapnel of life cut in? Where is he who shared those thrilling moments of adventure and discovery by your side, the comforting times of togetherness in the tall grasses of a sprawling meadow, the wooded coolness of a shared forest path, the trickling brook in the heat of an afternoon, the hand in hand saunter on a tranquil beach, a comfortable discussion on the perch of a rock or the coziness of a couch?
Reflect on the richness of this union. He is not at your side but he is with you always. He is in his place in your heart that no one else can fill. It will remain his because the two became one and though he slipped away when he was called home before you, the essence of his love abides because that is what love does.
God is love. All that you know in the physical presence of human flesh is fulfilled beyond comprehension in the Spirit of God. You will long for the soft touch of hands, the embrace of arms, the entwining of two who share all because you have been blessed to know harmony in the depths of this realm. God provided this because mankind is weak and faithless but He, God, is love, strength, long-suffering, gracious, merciful, kind, righteous, just, holy, true, immutable, immanent, infinite, incomprehensible, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, sovereign, the one true God.
With a view of your loss, because despite the experience you retain in heart and memory, you suffer great loss of the physical presence and the refreshment and renewal in the day to day, take this to heart, from Philippians 1:29 For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him
Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord. Psalm 31:24
To the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation. I Peter 4:13
The days of suffering are not without number. They will one day be forever complete.
NaPoWriMo Day #4